Does the cold Christmas breeze have something to do with what I’m feeling right now? Could be. 


But perhaps, it just happens. 


I’m not a very big fan of the idea of ‘falling in love‘. Don’t blame. After having Romeo and Juliet pay the price of love with death and after seeing teardrops on Taylor Swift’s guitar who would ever want to indulge into what people address as ‘love‘? 


*raises both of my hands*

Yes. It is that awful. 


But with him ? It’s a totally different story. 


I never thought I would like him this friggin’ much. He used to be just like any ordinary guy from work. He looks fine (perfectly fine, that is). His hair? Just cute (Ghad I’d love to run my fingers over his hair). His arms? Fair enough (OMG those biceps! I’m dying!). His lips? Good (good? such a poor choice of word! It should be ‘luscious…hhmmm’). And his eyes? Dark brown (the type that gives me goose bumps every time those meet mine). 


Every time he speaks, my thought goes: “It’s amazing how you can speak right through my heart“. The way he says my name gives me butterflies on my every nerve. And just the thought of him makes me incredibly happy.


And you might think it’s that easy. Well, no. It’s not.


You see, the problem is that to him I’m just nobody. I’m not even sure if he knows I exist (that, people, is an obvious exaggeration, of course he knows I exist! everybody does know, right?)


And my apparent existence is not the sole problem. Want to know problem numero dos? Brace yourselves first. Inhale. Exhale. 


He’s gay.


Yes, you heard it right. He is totally G-A-Y. He’s not the drag-queen-type of gay though. He’s the ‘you-would-never-know-he-is-gay-until-you-hear-him-speak’ type. 


But I don’t care. The hell I care! I love him — God knows how much. And the possibility of him loving me back may just be the third of a quarter – but that would never stop me from feeling the amount of love I have for him. 


I once overheard him say that nobody will ever like him for some reason. I just wanted to get near him that moment, touch him, and whisper to him how badly I am in love with him and maybe he will feel much better. But I did not have the courage to do that. I was afraid he was going to push me away and never talk to me again. 


He would never like me. Not for the reason that I am unattractive or whatnot (coz hey I’m hot!), but because his preference is similar to mine – the male species that is. 


But I could only care less. I love him. I do not know how long this feeling will last. But as long as he turns my weary days into beautiful ones with just a flawless smile, I will keep on loving him. For he is the only one I love the most. ❤