Sometimes I could barely understand my own psyche. Sometimes my mind’s saying “it’s okay”, but my heart says otherwise. Emotions can really cloud me up and I go berserk. I hate it when that happens. 

It’s okay Cianne. They’re just friends. They’re just talking normal stuff. He loves you. He’ll never do anything stupid to hurt you. 

I tell that to my absurd self.

I’m tired of being jealous. I’m tired of telling myself ‘it’s okay’. I’m tired of acting foolish. It hurts though. It really does. Some find being jealous over small insignificant matters dense. But it’s not. When you start to get upset and emotions crawl up on you and tears make their way out of your eyes, whatever it is and no matter how petty it can be, it’s hurting you. And yes, it’s something you should start thinking about.

But I love him so much that every time he merely looks at any girl who passes by, or simply talks to anyone I get jealous right away. It’s not cute. Yes, it’s hurting me. But it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be acting like that. 

I trust him. And whatever we have now is more than enough to keep us always together. I wouldn’t let my stupid jealous self and whatnot shatter that. 

I feel sorry. I know somehow he’s hurt too. And that’s the last thing I would want to happen. 

Oh my stupid jealous self, you silly in love. Can you just act normal and stop hurting?