So where do I start? Ah Christmas. Well, it’s making its way now. I can’t seem to feel it though. Perhaps the lights, bells, gifts, christmas carols seem to lessen every year? Or is it because I’m living alone?

It’s hard growing up and waking up every morning without your grandma make you a sumptuous breakfast before you head off elsewhere. It’s difficult to do things on your own. But behind all those humps is a free road. Yes, a road of liberty and endless possibilities. And all the anonymous exciting stuff you could imagine.

I have learned in my eight months of liberty that every thing, every single thing that you let your self fall into will solely be your responsibility. All that surround whatever those things may be, all emotions that you have to undergo, you deal it with yourself. You alone will be the one responsible for all the consequences that may occur with every pitfall you indulge yourself into.

It’s hard being responsible for anything, much more of yourself. I have shed god-knows-how-many tears denying my weaknesses. But I hope that’s how I will learn.

Another thing, this is honestly hard to confess, but I think I am a little emotionally “overwhelmed” by tons of things that’s going on in my head every day. I try to shake them off. But I get so easily upset when things don’t fall according to plan. I know that’s terrible. Maybe I can use a little sprinkle of inspiration of hope from Mr. Gatsby, or as I’d like to call him, Mr. Gutsby.

Thus, I have come to a decision that I will not let myself be crushed with a bagful of disappointments, be crumpled by what other people think of me, and be wounded on the heart by anyone around me. I have dealt with so many struggles in my life and I think I deserve a happy and blessed life now. I know I can make that happen.

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