into the depth of my absurd yet beautiful mind

Happy 2013!

Santa’s probably done with his job for now. His little workers are on vacation somewhere else. Christmas trees are still up but gifts underneath them were already cracked up. 

Today is the 29th of December. And Christmas is, technically, officially over (I still, however, believe that the spirit of Christmas lives all year through)! And another celebration that I am so keyed up about is, of course, the NEW YEAR!!

2013 is just a few days away. To some, it is just another year. Another normal, insignificant year. To others, it’s a whole new year! Another year full of anticipation for everything sanguine. For me, it is both. 2013 is just another normal, not so significant year, yet also a year full of anticipation for the better.

Having to change your calendar a year forward, is like smudging your life in a whole new canvass. Of course, you can always have every single day of your existence as a signal fire, but having had to do it in a new year is just differently remarkable. 

Bottom line is, i wish all of you a happy, crazy, inspiring, and splendid 2013!! 





Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken. Your best friend always sticking up for you. Even when I know you’re wrong“. – The Train, Drops of Jupiter.


I have been listening to that song over and over again and I still have no idea how that ‘deep-fried chicken’ made its way in there. Well, I guess that’s just how it goes. 

No, this post isn’t about deep-fried chicken. Not even the roasted ones. This is all about my insignificant trifling thoughts on queries made easy for me by papemelroti. I already have crafted a couple posts about these awesome questions: INTO THE BOX 1.0 and INTO THE BOX 2.0. Then here goes numero tres!


If you were chosen to be the first person to relocate to Jupiter, and could only bring one personal item, what would it be?

Jupiter- wow! Wait, is that even possible? Well, I don’t care. I’d love to be there. And what more better thing to carry with me than a (I’d say cellphone, but I’m not sure if the phone signal on earth could reach up to Jupiter) pen! I would document my every day on just about anywhere. So that after the day I die, and other people get to be relocated in there too, they’ll remember the first person who had made Jupiter a better place to live in. And perhaps they’ll put up a statue of me next to where I have written my life? Sweet! 


If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

I’d save the world from the bad guys! I’ll kick a sniper’s butt just before he pulls the trigger and shots some well-known mogul and he won’t even know who did it!  I’ll tail the Al Qaeda and blow their location to the authorities. I’ll get access to the government’s files and catch who among the officials gamble away my nation’s money. All in a day! Oh wait, all in a day? that’s exhausting. But I can do it! *Invisibility cloth on*


At a moment’s notice, you were given the chance to step into a “Talent Duplicator Machine” which could duplicate any person’s talent and make it yours for life. What talent would you pick and whose?

I already am a great singer. And dancing? Piece of cake (It still puzzles me though as to why my friends tell me otherwise. I mean c’mon. Isn’t it obvious that I was born a star?). Just for the sake of answering this question, even if I really think I need no TDM (Talent Duplicator Machine), I’d say Anne Hathaway is really talented. A dose of her in me would be astounding. My acting chops are… well I’m working on it, and perhaps Anne’s would be of great help! 

it’s okay

Sometimes I could barely understand my own psyche. Sometimes my mind’s saying “it’s okay”, but my heart says otherwise. Emotions can really cloud me up and I go berserk. I hate it when that happens. 

It’s okay Cianne. They’re just friends. They’re just talking normal stuff. He loves you. He’ll never do anything stupid to hurt you. 

I tell that to my absurd self.

I’m tired of being jealous. I’m tired of telling myself ‘it’s okay’. I’m tired of acting foolish. It hurts though. It really does. Some find being jealous over small insignificant matters dense. But it’s not. When you start to get upset and emotions crawl up on you and tears make their way out of your eyes, whatever it is and no matter how petty it can be, it’s hurting you. And yes, it’s something you should start thinking about.

But I love him so much that every time he merely looks at any girl who passes by, or simply talks to anyone I get jealous right away. It’s not cute. Yes, it’s hurting me. But it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be acting like that. 

I trust him. And whatever we have now is more than enough to keep us always together. I wouldn’t let my stupid jealous self and whatnot shatter that. 

I feel sorry. I know somehow he’s hurt too. And that’s the last thing I would want to happen. 

Oh my stupid jealous self, you silly in love. Can you just act normal and stop hurting?


Image(Photo via

Questions. They never run out. Ghad, they just don’t. I tossed them in here, then the others bounced out and rolled up on this page. So as promised, the next set of brilliant queries (thanks to papemelroti) will now sit on the limelight, with, of course, my not-so-interesting answers to accompany them. Lights. Cam’ra. Action!

You get transported into a cartoon land and get to pick any cartoon identity to have as your own. Which cartoon character would you choose? 

First of all, and this one’s not what has been asked but i’ll say it anyway, if Bikini Bottom was for real, I probably have moved there years ago. And a house on a rock would be the best space to dribble away the rest of my juvenile life in. And Patrick Starr? I’ll definitely would want to be him. The pinkish skin, the cool shorts, the don’t-have-to-worry-about-smelly-stuff nature, the great friend, the silly-crazy citizen, I mean c’mon. Who wouldn’t want to switch lives with him and just dwell a worry-free, spontaneous, electrifying life? If being Patrick Starr is sold over the counter, I’d be the first on line. Jelly-fishinggggggg!! How cool could that be?

Say one memorable line from a movie that you like.

I’m getting tired of it all.” – Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson on Taken 2). Who wouldn’t be? Having had to do a hardcore action movie for the second time in much challenging scenes sure is exhausting. I can’t blame Liam. Heads up to his awesome stunts still though. Great job!

Looking back in time, which year would you have wanted to last twice as long?

2003. The year before I graduated grade school. The year when life was all fun. The year when everything was unruffled and bits and pieces were nothing but joyful. I miss my childhood days. If only it lasted twice as long, then perhaps I wouldn’t be missing it this much now.

a minute thoughts II


Just a random Sunday afternoon. Done with my laundry. Now it’s time for my petty thoughts on the spot light. So it all fired up here, then here goes its sequel:

  • LSS on Tay Swift’s ‘Red’ song
  • I’m wondering what he’s doing right now. Hhhhmmm…
  • I gotta lose some weight.
  • The clouds are dark.. some rain later i suppose?
  • Facebook bores the heck out of me. LOL
  • Oh my watch has been found!! Yay!
  • My hands are dry again. Needs some TLC.
  • Got to start working out. Nah.. I’m fine.
  • My head kinda hurts. I’ll probably be catching some colds.
  • Twilight kinda sucks. *just sayin*
  • Now my facebook isn’t working. Argh. My internet connection is so friggin’ slow!
  • Oh no! only a few seconds left!
  • What to think!!!
  • LOL
  • hahahahhaha.. *random laugh*

And it’s done. 60 awesome seconds are over! Phew! That was intense. I was actually typing fast – trying to beat the time. But it turned out fine. LOL. Yes, fine. That’s one word to put it.


(Photo via

I came across a Papemelroti store in a nearby mall and saw tons of amazing things. I bought some cool stuff –pieces of real nice papers, cute bookmarks, and a couple boxes of random jam. My most favorite is this box of “thought-provoking questions” on pieces of paper. I thought they could be great for my blog for the reasons that, 1.) The world could get to know me a little better, and 2.) I could get to know myself a little better. I’ll start with three questions, and the next post will consist of another three. Ready? Let’s go!


If you were stuck on a desert island and could have only one kind of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Wow. Being stuck alone on a desert island with no one to talk to, nowhere else to go, and nothing interesting to do sure is tedious. It’s worse than being indicted of life imprisonment. At least behind bars there are other inmates whom you could share the remaining moments of your life with.

Perhaps, a sumptuous foodstuff could be the only thing that could get rid of the ennui. And what better way to squeeze away the boredom than a hot crispy-fried chicken. I don’t really have a specific favorite food. I like everything my mouth gets in contact with, except veggies and super spicy stuff. Not really a fan of fried chickens but having one on a desert island with nothing else but green stuff and all bloody hideous chows, I’d say not bad. Not bad at all.


If you were given 3 wishes, what would they be?

You probably think having to be granted 3 wishes would be easy- well NO. Three? I demand more! Just kidding. To be honest, I have tons of wishes dying to be granted. But 3 are better than none. So I’d take that.

Okay. So here they go (listing them down is much easier):

  1. Be a real sane genius.
  2. Be bloody rich.
  3. Live a happy life.

Can some genie snap or wink or whatever, and just make all those wishes happen? Right now please?


If you were to pick one time of the day when you are most alive and active, what would it be?

This one’s pretty easy. My energy is most of the time on its normal, manageable level throughout the day. Just one problem though. I don’t know what is it with afternoons, but as soon as the clock settles its hands on 1:30pm onwards, my eyes start to lose their ‘spark’. My body gets into a resting stance. And the next thing I know, I’m in front of my computer, head-down, eyes closed, and some disgusting dribble dripping off my mouth (my officemate caught me, that’s how I had known). Yes, I know -extremely humiliating. So if I get to just be alive and active on this time of the day, then I wouldn’t be worrying about being humiliated or worse, losing my job. Perhaps a cup of coffee or a squeeze of lemon on my eyes eh?

moving on

Thwarted. Disappointed. Annoyed – those are me. Well those were actually what I have been in the past days. But I got to move on. I got to. That’s probably the best decision in dealing with what I’m currently going through. 

Okay, my lovely watch vanished. I’m sure it was within my gaze a few days back, I put it above the fridge (where I always put it), then the next thing I wish didn’t happen came to be – it has gone astray. Deym! It was a gift from my Uncle. I love that watch as much as I love him. It’s one of my most precious possessions. And perhaps the most expensive as well.

I could just replace it with a new one. But I get so emotionally attached to things, especially if it’s a gift from someone important in my life and replacing it with something else won’t make me feel any better. And crying over it is not very surprising either. I’ve been looking for it and, three days after, still no sign of hope. Ghad I wish I could have it back! I wish I never lost it. I love it so much!

But things come and go. Instead of wallowing myself over this miserable disappointment, I should just move on, live with my life, deal with it, and, if possible, forget about it. I guess it’s time to accept that I may never find it ever again. Sad… but manageable. I can do this. I always do. 

Move on. 

the way he makes me feel

It all happened so fast. Not so long ago, the only hands that my hands held were each other. The next thing I know, I was holding the hand of the man who has made my every day more meaningful, and I never wanted to let go since then.

There’s something beautiful with the way he stares at me. That feeling when his eyes lock with mine, I could just forget everything about the world. There’s something alluring with the way he touches me. When his fingers run through my skin, my senses come to life. There’s something engaging with the way he holds me in his arms. Every warm embrace brings me so much closer to him. There’s something tempting with the way he presses his lips into mine. That feeling when we breathe as one.

This man must be a wizard. He must have casted a spell on me and captured me. If he ever did, I don’t mind. I love being under his spell. I love being captured by him. I just love how he makes me feel whenever I am with him.

It amazes me how a single person can bring so much significance to one’s life; how with just a smile all your weary thoughts drain away; how with a whisper of ‘I love you’ you feel like the whole world turned into a wonder land. He does that to me. I fell… and I woke up head-over-heels in love with this man.

My life is better with his warmth. My days are lovelier with the thoughts of him. My every second of existence is more delightful with his love. I become a better me with him by my side. He’s just everything I could have asked for.

It all did happen so fast.  Rogin used to be just a fellow agent at work. Now, he has become just another reason why I love going to work and just another reason for everything else in my life. It’s exactly been a month since we started this journey together. And I’m looking forward to sharing more treks with him in the future.

I don’t believe in a love that lasts for eternity. All I know is, for as long as my heart beats, and my brain discharges neurons to my very senses, and the sun shines and cries over the world, my love for him stays.

Love u hon 

It’s been a year ago. I can vividly remember the murky thoughts I had – about life, myself, the world, the people around me. I was at the verge of losing myself trying to find answers to queries so vague even I can’t put in plain words myself.

I sometimes could not fully comprehend my state of mind, I question a lot. The uncertainties never cease to vanish. It’s always within me -prying my brain waves, muddling up my every thought.

The kind of life I am living right now used to be what I wanted for myself. When I was younger, I dream of what my future will be like. I did not seek for perfection nor fortune. I just wanted a normal, happy life. But it turned out that after having a ‘normal, happy life’, isn’t what I really wanted after all.

I no longer want a normal life. I want to be living a life that is extraordinary. I no longer want just a  happy life. I want to be living a life that is euphoric. Things change. Things really do change.

I need to wake myself up and get my butt back on track. I need to be doing something else. Something that will pilot me into the extraordinary, euphoric life that I picture myself in.

The big question now is- how?

I most of the time answer this type of question with -‘I do not know yet’. And this time, I’ll say it again. I do not know yet. But I soon will figure that out.

One realization is clear though. The dreams that we had when we were younger, do not always stay the same. Sometimes they change and even get better.

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